


Soft Like Circles Strong Like Squares

by disarm_d



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Anal Sex, Bigotry & Prejudice, M/M, Mildly Dubious Consent, Multiple Orgasms, Rape Culture, Rimming, Shame, Size Difference, Unhappy Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-23
Updated: 2013-10-23
Packaged: 2017-12-30 05:33:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1014733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/disarm_d/pseuds/disarm_d
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>The producers took a risk putting an alpha in the group, but alpha exposure in the media had been increasingly trendy and Harry was sweet for an alpha. They always said it like that -- sweet for an alpha. Polite for an alpha.  Smart for an alpha.</i>
</p><p>Someone else decided what it means to be an alpha.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Soft Like Circles Strong Like Squares

**Author's Note:**

> Epic gratitude and appreciation for [Threeturn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/threeturn/pseuds/threeturn) 's entire delightful existence. Thanks to [Randominity](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Randominity/pseuds/Randominity) for always letting me send her the weird shit I write.

They wouldn’t let Harry room with the other lads even though Louis swore up and down that they didn’t mind and Niall chimed in loudly in agreement while Liam and Zayn nodded along. 

“It’s not right to make the rest of you sleep with an alpha,” Beth, the producer who was in charge of housing, said. “No, I know you’re friends with him, but it’s better safe than sorry. It’s not personal,” she said to Harry, who was leaning against the wall and staring at his feet like maybe if he could just avoid making eye contact for the rest of eternity, he could keep the humiliation at bay. 

“It’s fine,” Harry said, head down, shoulders curled in, trying to look as small as possible. He was still the tallest one in the room.

“It’s nothing against Harry,” her assistant Todd chimed in. “Just that the viewers will be worried if they see an alpha sleeping in the same bedroom. We don’t want them getting the wrong idea.”

“That’s bullshit,” Louis said loudly as the lot of them stormed away, but it was easy for him to say because he was the eldest and the funniest and an omega and everyone listened to him. Harry appreciated the gesture, but they were right; it wouldn’t look good. Everyone would worry about what he was doing behind closed doors. 

“I, umm,” Harry said, and then he let his hair drop in his face. 

He hadn’t been this embarrassed since coach took him aside and said that there had been complaints from the parents about their children having to use the changing room at the same time as an alpha and could he please just wait to shower at home? Schools weren’t allowed to make alphas use separate facilities anymore, and Harry knew that his mother would make a stink to the superintendent, so he never told her. 

The producers had taken a risk putting an alpha in the group, but alpha exposure in the media had been increasingly trendy and Harry was sweet for an alpha. They always said it like that -- sweet for an alpha. Polite for an alpha. Smart for an alpha. 

Louis said they meant that he was cute for an alpha but it didn’t sound as bad when he said it, especially when he twisted his fingers through Harry’s curls and tugged his head this way and that. 

“Nice alpha,” Louis crooned as he sat on the back of the couch and made Harry nod his head up and down. He didn’t pull hard, but there was no give in his grip. “You’re not so scary.”

“You can tell him to sod off, you know,” Zayn said from where he was sat on a chair, a book open in his hands. Harry had tried to go off alone after meeting with Beth, but all the lads dragged him to the common room and wouldn’t let him leave, even with Niall and Liam to scavenge food from the kitchen for the rest. 

“I don’t mind,” Harry said. Louis liked to climb up on things so that he was taller than Harry, at least partly so he could play with Harry’s hair. Mostly he seemed to like the novelty of being taller, but Harry, used to being a head taller in every crowd and having to hunch over so he didn’t stand out so ridiculously, liked it as well. He liked the hair stuff too. People usually tried not to touch Harry very much, but Louis made a point of it.

“You’re going to make him bald by the time the competition is done,” Zayn said, and then rolled his eyes when Louis gave another pointed tug.

“It’s in there pretty good,” Louis said. “Strong alpha curls.” He scratched gently along the sides of Harry’s head and then gave another firm tug.

Harry bit the inside of his cheek and fought against the urge to let his mouth drop open. He wanted to arch back against Louis’s touch, lean into the soft curve of Louis’s thighs, bracketing either side of his shoulders. Louis was chatting with Zayn now but all Harry could think about was the heat between his thighs. He wanted to lean his head back, twist his face around and rub his cheek against the zip of Louis’s jeans. 

That was the worst part of being an alpha - the times when everyone was right about him.

\--

They had to be careful with the cameras during the live performances because the producers were worried about how he’d look on screen. They didn’t know how to dress him, so they put him in loose trousers and long sweaters but still everyone fussed about the folds of fabric around his crotch and what it may or may not look like.

It was worse when they went to do promo at events because there the paparazzi actively tried to get pictures of his cock.

Someone was there waiting when their limo pulled up, knelt down to try to get a upward angle when he stepped out of the limo, but Louis got out first and shouted about how, “He’s only sixteen, you need to fuck off,” and wouldn’t move out of the way until finally security moved the guy.

Louis linked his arm around Harry’s elbow and stuck by his side as they did the rest of the red carpet interviews. He didn’t let go, even when someone yelled, “Have you ever seen his knot? Louis? Have you seen his knot, Niall?” As if Harry was actually depraved enough to go showing that around. 

(He only ever let someone see it once, and that was an accident. He was fifteen and fucking his girlfriend in the back of a car and every other time he was able to pull out first, but she was riding him and her breasts kept rubbing against his chest as she bounced and it was so good that he started to knot up while he was still inside of her. He’d made some kind of horrible noise, so she had enough time to scamper away, but it was too late. 

She tried to be nice about it, but he saw the horrified look as she eyed his jerking cock, the way she tried to cover it up with nervous giggles.

“I’m sorry,” he said, curled around his sweatshirt to hide himself, even as his stupid dick kept shooting everywhere.

“ _I’m_ sorry,” she said and wiped her eyes, her mouth twitching as she tried to hold back laughter. “It’s just - I didn’t realize it would look so weird.”)

He couldn’t stop thinking about it, even once they got back to the X-Factor house: the lingering grit of exposure. He took a long shower to wash off the stage makeup. After he finished he was surprised to find Liam waiting in the hallway to intercept him before he could lock himself up in his room.

“Let’s go see what’s on the telly,” Liam said. And then he offered, “I think A-Squared is on now.”

That was the show about two alphas living together as roommates that played on HBO at midnight. All Harry’s friends made a point of telling him that they watched it. Harry knew they meant it kindly so he never said anything, but two alphas living together: who cared? Of course everyone watched it. It didn’t matter what an alpha did to another alpha.

“It’s rubbish what they say,” Liam said during a commercial break. He was at the other end of the couch, not close enough to touch but comforting in his solid presence. “You just have to ignore it.”

“I know,” Harry said. 

“I don’t even think of you as an alpha,” Liam said and smiled earnestly at Harry. “You always seem really normal.”

\--

“I have an uncle who’s an alpha,” Niall said whenever they get asked about it in interviews. 

“Of course he doesn’t go walking around naked all the time. That would be disgusting.” Zayn had this perfect mix of scornful confusion that shut questions down. Liam was kinder about it, more chatty:

“Yeah, it was weird at first, just because I was never really friends with an alpha before, but Harry’s just like anyone else.”

Louis got the angriest, but he also got the worst questions: _You’re an omega, it must be the most difficult for you to be in a band with an alpha. Has he ever tried anything?_

“No,” Louis said. “He’s a good lad.” Because they learned after Week Three that sarcasm didn’t show up well in print.

They have more fans than anyone thought they would get, more hits on their video diaries, more mentions on twitter. It’s good often enough that people keep taking about how they’re going to be the next big thing. They’re supposed to focus on that, but Harry’s seen the other side. 

When they were signing autographs in the parking lot outside the studio someone started yelling about filthy alphas and how he needed to watch himself or someone would put him down like the dog he was. Harry had heard it all before. Never trust an alpha. Cocks are bigger than their brains. Big dicks to spread disease and a natural propensity to screwing around with as many people as will lie still for them. There were rumours about him and Louis, and him and Caroline, and him and most of the judges (imagine what he must have done to get a place, and here this was supposed to be family-friendly television). No one was too old or too young for him to screw.

Harry hadn’t cared that much before he had to stand under a stadium full of spotlights. Sometimes he wasn’t allowed to come over for family dinner, but he always had lots of friends, because he was different in the kind of way that teenagers liked to be pointedly progressive about. Weird in the dirty kind of way, so there were always had lots of people who wanted to have sex with him, which seemed like fun at the time. 

But then he learned that Zayn and Niall and Liam were all still virgins (though Zayn had started dating Rebecca, so maybe that would change). Louis had had sex, but only with one person who he’d been dating for a really long time. Everyone was too nice to ask him what he had done, but the truth was probably exactly what they expected. 

Nasty alphas like to fuck. 

\--

Louis went into heat just before Week Nine. Other people had gone into heat and even though they tried to be nice about it, Harry could see how uncomfortable he made them, so he was careful to stay away. It was different with Louis. 

Louis was sat on the couch in front of the TV wearing only a thin vest and a pair of worn in sweats. It was easy to tell what he was feeling - the dull pink flush colouring his cheeks and spreading across the top of his chest, the way he kept squirming. His nipples were hard. He was blatant about it, and why shouldn’t he be? A heat was nothing embarrassing, just the natural cycle of his body. Harry’s reaction was the shameful one, the way he went desperate with wanting just looking at Louis, how his cock thickened up, ached. The moment when he thought he might throw himself at Louis, mindless and out of control and just as scary as everyone said he was.

“Haz,” Louis said when he noticed Harry standing in the doorway.

Harry dropped his hands and tried to hide the tent in his trousers by angling his hips. 

“You alright?” Harry asked.

“Feel like crap,” Louis said. 

“Sorry,” Harry said. “You want me to get you something?”

“Come sit,” Louis said.

Harry swallowed. Even from across the room, he could smell Louis, and no matter how much he tried to remind himself that it was just the normal cycle of Louis’s body, he felt frenzied. 

“Are _you_ alright?” Louis asked after Harry took too long to respond.

Harry tried to convince himself to walk over and sit by Louis. It would be alright, just two mates on the couch together. It would only be weird if he made it.

So of course he immediately made it weird. 

“What does it feel like?” Harry asked.

“My heat?” Louis asked after a pause.

“Yeah,” Harry said. He tried to steady his breathing, but each breath felt like a gasp. His mouth was watering just being that close to Louis, so he pressed his lips together.

“Like… a heat,” Louis said. “Like a fever, I don’t know. It’s a bit of a drag.”

A heat meant youth and virility, and there was an entire industry dedicated to trying to replicate heats in people who don’t have them naturally, so it must be something more than ‘a bit of a drag’. Even in the dark, Harry could see the way the flush had made Louis’s skin glow, the shine of his hair, the way he _smelled_. He looked like everything that anyone would ever want. Harry hunched in on himself and tried to look less like a mutt lurking in the shadows. 

“It’s true then,” Louis said.

“What?” Harry said, even though he already knew what Louis was going to say.

“Just from being near me,” Louis said. “I always thought that was just a myth to keep us scared of alphas. Look at how you’re squirming.”

“I’m not going to do anything,” Harry promised.

“But you want to.”

“I’m sorry,” Harry said, and then rushed back to his room.

\--

There was a knock on his door a few hours later and then Louis pushed his way in without answering.

“I’m just going to sleep,” Harry said, even though it was obvious he was awake. He’d already tossed all the bedding to the foot of the mattress, stripped down to just his pants, but even with nothing but air on his skin, the itch wouldn’t go away. 

“You’re still hard,” Louis said.

There was nothing for him to cover himself with, so he clenched his hands at his sides and stared up at the ceiling, like that’s where an escape to the humiliation might be hiding. 

“Why don’t you just get yourself off?”

“It doesn’t help.”

Omegas get to come again and again and again, Harry’s heard about that. He’s seen films. The endless rolling pleasure that crests again and again while he’s stuck with this hard cock that only wants to be touched by someone else. He can come once, if he’s lucky, then that’s it for him for the rest of the night, even if the orgasm didn’t let out all the pent up wanting.

“Have you been thinking about me?” Louis asked, his voice low but light. 

Harry kept his mouth closed, but nodded, still staring up at the ceiling. 

“I was thinking about you, too,” Louis said. He was always so sharp and quick and startling in his moments of overwhelming generosity. 

“Really?” Harry asked, trying and failing to keep his voice steady.

“It doesn’t just feel like a fever,” Louis said, but then he trailed off. There was a long moment of silence before Louis started undressing. 

Louis took off his clothes slowly, not like he was putting on a show, but like he had to be careful about how the fabric rubbed against his skin. He stretched out beside Harry on the bed. It was just a single, but Harry was plank-stiff and tucked as close to the edge of the bed as he could get, so there was room for Louis to lie down, barely. Harry felt too big and wished for a countless time that he could make himself smaller. It was like every time he sat on the bus and couldn’t figure out what to do with his damn gangly legs, because no matter how he twisted he would bump into someone else’s space. Except worse, because it was Louis. 

They didn’t touch until Louis bent his elbow so he could get his hand around his cock and his arm brushed against Harry’s chest. He dipped his fingers between his legs first, brought them back slick, so it was easy for him to jerk himself off. His little hand and his pretty cock. 

He started slow and then faster and faster until Harry was sure he’d gone cross-eyed from how hard he was staring, but still he couldn’t stand to blink. And then Louis arched and let out a long, shaky breath as he came all over himself, just like that. Sweet and easy and he was still hard. He cupped himself carefully, rubbing until he stopped gasping. 

Harry had never seen an omega come before, not in real life. Omegas have choices and don’t need to bother with alphas. Louis was vibrant in the darkness, clearly ready to go again even though he’d only just come. His naked body was soft and fleshy and so smooth, and Harry felt embarrassed by how rough he was in comparison, the way his skin seemed to stick right to the bone with no give. 

Louis pushed his sweaty fringe out of his eyes and looked over at Harry, smiled. No wonder everyone wanted to be with an omega. 

“Please let me fuck you,” Harry begged. “Oh, god. Please. Please.” Louis could use his fingers or a toy any time he wanted; omegas don’t need alphas like alphas need them. Harry knew Louis might say no, would probably say no and there was nothing he could do about it, but still he _hoped_ like he had never hoped for anything else.

Louis slide his hand back down between his legs, his thighs parting to get a better angle. Harry could see the way the muscles in his forearm moved as he worked his fingers and he was so caught in watching that that he almost missed it when Louis said, “Okay.”

“Okay?” Harry repeated.

“You can fuck me.”

Harry had to move away from the edge of the mattress to where there was space from him to lie down on his back. He was awkward in his sprawl, but Louis helped move him into place.

“You want it, right?” Harry asked anxiously as Louis climbed on top of him.

Louis arched until Harry’s cock slide through the slickness between his thighs. 

Louis said, “Yeah,” and started sinking down on Harry’s cock, but he froze almost immediately after the head breached him, and hissed. “Oh, fuck.”

His forehead creased and he pushed down on the palms he had flattened to Harry’s chest for support. Harry felt like he couldn’t breath, but that might just be the impossible wet clench of Louis.

Louis pulled off, rubbed at himself with two fingers while Harry twisted his fingers in the sheets and tried to stay very, very still, until finally Louis lifted onto Harry’s cock again.

It didn’t look any easier this time.

“I’m sorry,” Harry said. “Are you okay? I’m sorry, what should I do?”

“It’s just really fucking big, Harry,” Louis snapped.

Harry flushed and closed his eyes against the wash of humiliation. Too big, too rough, too desperate. And still it was all he could do to stop himself from fucking up into Louis, like nothing would ever take the edge off his wanting. 

When he was younger, he used to get so outraged. Someone else decided what it means to be an alpha. What did they even know about him? But they were probably right. There’s nothing he wanted more than to buck up, to push in deeper, even as he saw the pained grimace on Louis’s face.

Harry’s breathing was the loudest thing in the room. His back stuck to the sheets, wet already with sweat. Louis sank down until almost a quarter of Harry’s cock was inside him and then he started circling his hips.

“Okay then,” Louis said, letting his fingers dig into Harry’s pecs. His nails weren’t long but still it felt sharp and Harry tried not to whimper.

He didn’t know where he was allowed to touch Louis, so he kept his hands down, kept his hips still and watched as Louis rocked carefully on his dick. He only had the first couple of inches in so Harry could see his cock disappearing between Louis’s thighs. 

Louis reached for his cock and that seemed to make it easier after he pulled himself back to full hardness. He got wetter, and Harry could feel it sliding down his cock.

Louis rolled his hips in a slow circle until he found an angle he liked and then he held mostly still as he wanked himself off, his fist flying over his cock while he bore down on Harry’s cock. 

He came with a short grunt, thick stripes wetting Harry’s chest. He moved his palm down to wipe at the mess, rubbing it into Harry’s belly until Harry couldn’t stop the high, begging noises coming from the back of his throat. 

“I know what you want,” Louis said. His lips were very pink, even as they twisted into a sharp smile. 

“I want this,” Harry said quickly, like there was still a chance he could stop Louis from saying what he was going to say next. 

Louis shook his head and clenched around Harry’s dick without taking him any deeper until Harry’s toes curled.

“You want to fuck me from behind,” Louis said, brash like he said any other outrageous thing, except usually when he was pushing he wasn’t also sat on Harry’s cock. 

He was used to the wild things that Louis said, but still he flushed at that. That was what everyone said. The nasty thing that alphas always wanted: to fuck like animals. There was porn like that, big alphas bending little omegas over and stuffing them full, and then a movement to make that kind of porn illegal. It didn’t pass, but only the shadiest companies still put that kind of trash out. Harry only saw it once, at a party, when someone was dared to download the dirtiest porn they could find on the internet. His friend had looked at him while it played, horrified, and asked, “Is that really how you like to have sex?”

“You do,” Louis said, lighting up when he noticed Harry’s blush. 

Harry shook his head, but Louis said, “Let’s do it,” and climbed off Harry’s cock.

“No,” Harry said, dismayed, as Louis rolled himself over onto all fours. “Louis, I don’t want it like that, I swear.”

“Liar,” Louis said, looking back at Harry over his shoulder. His arse and the curve of his waist and the slim line of his spine. Harry was crawling towards him before he realized what he was doing. 

“I knew it,” Louis gloated. “Come on then, mount up.”

Harry thought he should say something, but he was already tucking himself up behind Louis. He covered Louis’s body with his own, braced an arm on either side of Louis on the bed. He felt massive like this, and there was no hope that Louis wouldn’t notice, nothing to be done to hide the bulk of his body. He exhaled sharply. He could only see the back of Louis’s head and was worried about what he’d miss by not being able to look at Louis’s face, so he waited until Louis started speaking again.

“Just put the head in,” Louis said after he’d wiggled around enough to satisfy himself.

Harry took a breath, then another one, then reached down to line up his cock with Louis’s hole. He could feel the slickness rubbing against the head of his cock, the way Louis started to open around him, but he was still so tight.

Harry whimpered into the back of Louis’s neck and stayed still.

Louis tipped himself forward so he had better leverage and then started clenching and unclenching, letting Harry minutely deeper before halting him again. Harry felt like every single muscle in his body was screaming with the strain of holding so still. He didn’t know what to do with his head because he was panting already and he didn’t think Louis would want him gasping in his ear. 

“Like this you won’t get your knot in me, right?” Louis asked.

“Yes,” Harry promised, “no knot.” No one wanted to be torn open like that, stuck together for however long afterwards. Not when Louis was already vice-tight around him.

Louis started rocking, half an inch back and forth. Harry’s arms were shaking from the effort of holding all of his weight off Louis. 

“I can get off like this,” Louis decided after a long moment of trying different angles and then he dropped even lower on the bed as he went down on one elbow, the other wrapped around his cock.

He was hardly moving, just these little back and forths, now that he had Harry lined up where he wanted him. He got himself off once quickly, and then again. It took longer the second time. Harry could feel Louis moving beneath him and he closed his eyes and held still, so still, even when he felt like he was going to go crazy from the way Louis was clenching and unclenching around him, slick and so fucking hot around just the first inch of his cock. 

“Are you going to come?” Louis asked, after he was finished shaking through his own orgasm. He lifted himself up on both arms and started rocking again. His slick was dripping down his thighs and smearing against Harry’s skin until everything was so wet and slippery that Harry thought for a minute he would slide right into Louis with his entire body until they were just one person. Louis was the only thing that kept them from falling apart, the way he moved, the control of his hips.

“Come on then,” Louis said. He dropped his head as he braced himself against the bed and pushed back onto Harry a little quicker, working over just the head of Harry’s cock. “That’s all you get.”

Harry sobbed, like holding still made it that much harder to keep quiet. He needed something to muffle himself with. He wanted to bite the back of Louis neck ( _dirty alphas fuck like animals_ ), but he set his teeth into his own arm instead. He still sounded like he was crying, like he was _howling_ , until finally he was done. 

“Arg, Christ,” Louis said when Harry slipped out of him.

“Are you sore?” Harry asked, dismayed.

“Yeah, a little, but it’s alright,” Louis said, but then he winced when he rolled over. 

“I made you all messy,” Harry said. “Here, sorry, I can just--” He tried to wipe at the come that was leaking from Louis’s hole, but there was too much of it, so he bent down and used his mouth instead. He was careful of how Louis was aching from taking his stupid dick, but it was better like this because with just his tongue, he had an easier time being gentle. 

He got Louis’s slick all over his face, or maybe that was his own come, but either way he was wet everywhere, couldn’t smell anything but Louis and sex. Couldn’t stop pressing his face into the soft warmth between Louis’s thighs, licking and sucking and kissing until finally Louis’s hand tangled in his hair. Louis held him in place and he licked and licked until his jaw hurt, but finally Louis came again. Harry licked him through it, wet tongue sliding across wet skin. Louis was all soft give and slick heat: everything sex was supposed to feel like. Harry gave him another long lick before finally pulling away. 

He was a mess, but wiping at his face with the back of his hand didn’t help much. He kept his head bowed so Louis wouldn’t see and reached over the side of the bed for a t-shirt.

Louis had stretched out on the bed and was lifting one knee then the other, trying to stretch himself out.

“I’m sorry,” Harry said again. The words felt thick in his mouth. His tongue ached. 

“You can come up with the excuse for why I can’t walk tomorrow,” Louis said as he straightened his leg to stretch out his calf, making a little wheezing-laughing sound at the pull.

Harry nodded blankly and dropped the t-shirt on his lap to hide where his knot was still swollen a grotesque red. He hoped that Louis didn’t notice. 

“Oh, cheer up, I’m just teasing. It’s not so bad,” Louis said, wiggling his toes. “For an alpha.”

**Author's Note:**

> [Read on LJ](http://disarm-d.livejournal.com/318544.html)
> 
>  
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> 
> [ Tumblr](http://onedisarmed.tumblr.com/) | [ Livejournal](http://disarm-d.livejournal.com/)


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